9 ▫️ goodbye yellow brick road

It’s 4:30 on Thursday morning. It’s dark, but I’m fully aware of all the boxes on the floor, some empty, some fully packed, lying in wait for anyone needing the bathroom in the middle of the night. I’ve been awake for an hour, mentally sorting through what to tackle next, from calls I need to return to what gets packed up next to where to find more boxes and is there any newspaper in this town? 

Yes, we are moving. 

It wasn’t a snap decision, this move, but it did come upon us quickly. There are many reasons behind it, but the compelling force is one that for legal reasons (that have nothing to do with us) I will discreetly pass over. Suffice it to say, we found ourselves needing to find a new home. 

Given the housing situation in Northern California—already labeled as a “crisis” by some, only to be made more critical by the October fires in Mendocino, Sonoma, and Napa counties—and the fact that currently, both Ashton and I work out of an office nearly two hours inland, we had quite a task ahead. We had some tough decisions to make, and not a lot of time to make them. 

It was a relief to find our new place. Rather, the place found us. 

We had heard about a house in the small town of Cloverdale, which is on Highway 101, midway between Santa Rosa and our hometown of Ukiah. It was casually mentioned to us by a friend, as in, ‘hey, there’s this house, but the people living in it won’t be moving out until June’. Given the ‘compelling force’ behind our move, June just wasn’t going to cut it for us. We tucked the suggestion away in our mental files and continued our search. 

But then a funny thing happened. The people moved out. We got a call from another friend saying that the tenants had gotten a work assignment and had to leave earlier than expected. Also, that the landlord was expecting us to be moving in on March 1. 

I’m glad he called, because we had no idea. 

We had yet to see the house. We didn’t even know where it was. But this seemed like a solid possibility, and if the landlord was expecting us, we should take advantage of being first in line. So on a sunny Monday afternoon, we went to see it. 

It’s a cute house, built in 1947. You can feel the mid-century vibe throughout. It quite frankly will be the most grown-up house we’ve ever lived in as a couple. It feels almost palatial compared to the one-room studio cottage we’re leaving. 

There are trade-offs, though. There’s no ocean view. No whales to be seen from our living room. Sunsets will be a different scene altogether. 

But the ocean isn’t going anywhere; it’s the two of us doing the leaving. We have already promised many of our coastal friends that we’ll be back often—and that’s the plan. 

It’s hard to put into words the ups and downs of this process. There have been nights of no sleep due to stress. There have been 14-hour nights of sleep due to stress. There have been moments of emotional surrender, giving up in the face of our circumstances, followed by dropping the white flag and finding the determination to keep on going. There has been excitement at the prospect of a fresh start, and the subsequent realization that a fresh start means leaving the place we’ve called home for four years. 

Tears? Check. Happy, sad, exhausted, confused, panicked, frustrated...we’ve had ‘em all. 

Now it’s 6:00 am. Ashton’s awake, up, and making coffee. It’s the beginning of a new day, before the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. 

A new chapter signals the end of the previous one. I’ve lived, I’ve learned (hopefully), and I’ve blogged; it feels as though this blog has served its purpose. It has brought me back to writing. It has taught me how to identify and describe my inner world, and in that lesson I have learned to connect to the outside world in a more meaningful way. 

I’m not done writing, not by any means. I hope to share more later, after the move and all. Please keep your eyes open for a new blog and a new IG account...if you follow @livelearnblog, it should just show up in your feed someday soon. In the meantime, please know that I’m forever grateful for all of you who have stopped by, taken a look, and offered support and feedback. Thank you SO MUCH. 

It’s been a great journey so far. I may be saying ‘goodbye’ to this yellow brick road, but that doesn’t mean I’ve reached my destination. I prefer to think of it as going off-road. The best destinations, after all, aren’t at the end of pavement. It’s time to put it in four-wheel drive, to get in the dirt, and really go somewhere. 

There’s adventure out there. I can feel it...